The Middle of Nowhere

2011-08-19T10:56:00.000+05:30

Tell me I can't. Laugh at me. Taunt me. One more time. Underestimate me. Comment about my incapabilities. One more time. When I prove you wrong, Call it luck. Take me lightly. One more time. hen you realize You were wrong; That I'm not weak, But strong. Don't admire me. Don't accept your fault. Don't stop stepping on me. I implore you. Your belief that I was incapable Is what made me stronger.

Tell me I can't, Just One.More.Time.

Booger

2011-07-26T13:42:00.002+05:30

"If you are not able to dig out the booger in your nostril, it doesn't mean the booger is not there at all."

-Baba Sankdev

As it seems

2011-03-13T01:09:00.001+05:30

You stand by the window

Starin at the rain

You hope for the sunshine

To take away the pain

Nothin's ever as it seems

I thought I saw a bird

But my mind was swimmin

With your every word

Tell me, is this real

Or am I dead

I wish I felt blank

There's pain instead

There's a rainbow

Across the sky

But you see just black

I don't know why

Nothin's ever as it seems

I thought I saw you fly

But it's just me

Don't know why I cry

Cos nothin's ever as it seems

Nothin's ever as it seems

Roll back, enjoy the dreams

Nothin's ever as it seems.

Let 'em be

2011-01-04T02:05:00.000+05:30

Theyr the kinda boys
Who love to fall
Just so they can get up

Break open the TV
Just to see
If you can put it back together like them toys!

They wanna run out and heel
In the dark
Just so they can mess with them owls

Theyr the kinda boys
Who fall in love
Just so they know how broken hearts feel

They wanna learn
To make soothin' tunes
Just so they can break them guitars

They wanna practice patience
Just so they can enjoy
Moments of anger they yearn!

Theyr the kinda boy
Who make frens
Just to see how backstabs feel like

Don't pick up them fallen boys
They don't wan' yer pity
Yel'll jus get them annoy

They'll get up just fine
They'll dust them wounds
Turn back, smile
And jump off them cliffs.

All the riffs
Hooting owls, those harsh growls
Soothing tunes, raging dunes

Let 'em be
Let 'em boys be.

Moment of Silence

2010-12-01T20:07:00.001+05:30

One moment of silence. That’s all it takes. That one moment, when all the noise around fades away, when the voices in your mind disappear. That one moment, when you are on your knees in front of the lady, with a ring in your hand. That one moment, when you are half way through your jump, just before you bowl that wicket taking ball. One moment of silence, before you walk out of the crowd to stop injustice. Just one moment.
The one moment, when the weightlifter, poised, looks straight into space. That one moment, when Obama breathes out before stepping out on the stage. It can give you a lot, that one moment. Because at that one moment, you are the only one ready. At that exact moment, the boxer in front of you has no idea that you have just had your moment of silence.
It doesn’t come easy, that moment of silence. Have you ever just stared directly at a light, and it suddenly seems to disappear? It’s like that. When your mind is bombarded with all the noise, all the pressure with the force of a thousand meteors, that is when you have your moment of silence. That moment, when reason has no value. When it’s all suddenly clear, when you suddenly know what to do. That is what millions probably wish for. That moment when everything will make sense. That is probably why they meditate, pray, scream, cry. Because they want that moment. They want it so bad, but they can’t have it. That is probably what the greatest saints and villans of the world have mastered. To have that moment of silence at will.
Don’t worry. You will have your moment of silence. When it is needed, your mind will enforce that momentary shut down to recharge the neurons. When you master the art of willfully gaining that silent moment, that, my friend, is when you will seize life. That is when you will realize, that I’M SO BLANKED OUT RIGHT NOW, THAT I WANTED TO WRITE SHIT AND WASTE YOUR TIME.

Blip.

2010-10-05T16:03:00.002+05:30

Sights, sounds & sparkling stars
Neon moons & celestal wars;
Robotic bats, laser eyed cats
Flying saucers & gals with plats.

Nuclear gum & Helium balloons
Flying skateboards, TV & Cartoons;
Greenish gutter, frying pan & Alu Mutter
Shining diamonds, plastic almonds!

Freezing water on my face
Wait a minute, where’s this place??
Alright I’m home after all
God bless Alcohol.

-------------------
Yeah, I know, not my best poem. I don't care. Blip.

Mine, All Mine

2010-03-26T08:53:00.004+05:30

Look at her eyes,
Look at her hair,
I can’t blame the men,
Who can’t help but stare!

She walks into a room,
And without even a smile,
She lights up the hearts
Of all men in a mile

They say she doesn’t talk much,
But she can’t stop with me,
I can’t believe the lucky man
Could ever be me!

Why she chose to be with me
I can’t comprehend,
But I hope this living dream,
Does never end.

I’d climb mountains
Dark, tall and steep
To run my hand through her hair
To watch her sleep!

All you other men,
Burn with jealousy and whine;
But I ain’t letting go off her;
This angel’s mine, All Mine.

Burp vs Fart

2009-10-28T16:54:00.000+05:30

Which is more disgusting? A fart or a burp?
A friend of mine recently said that it was quite a humiliating experience for her when she farted, audibly, in front of her boyfriend. I wondered, isn’t it more disgusting to burp loudly? If you are about to say that burps don’t smell as bad as farts, then I’m sure you’ve never sat next to someone who’s just had a sumptuous meal of chicken, garlic, onions and the like.

While a fart usually has a characteristic “type” of smell, burps can smell of various things. You get an idea of what the person ate a few hours ago. You can’t get that from a fart. It’s just a foul smell. You never say “Damn! You just farted the Garlic you had for lunch!” On the other hand, it’s quite common to say, “When the hell did you eat Biryani ?? I smell it in your burp!”. Infact, sometimes, burps smell like puke. And for me, puke smells far worse than shit.

Do you realize, you don’t actually see someone farting? You might just see their face get all serious and then a pause when it looks like blood’s rushing up their face, and then a relieved looking expression mixed with a look of anticipation of whether you got caught. When one burps, on the other hand, you actually see it happen. I mean, if you look at someone about to burp, you can actually imagine the gas coming up from the stomach, through the pipes. The voice box in the way doesn’t exactly make it pleasant. And most people think it’s a performance! They open their mouth wide like a hippo and let it go. And the face shows it all. You see the place from where the gas is coming out! A lot more disgusting compared to a fart! Also, technically, a fart comes out of a smaller orifice. And it also passes through two layers of cloth! (I’m talking of regular people in a social environment. Don’t get all technical on me.)

Let’s be honest, farts can be the source of good humor once you let go of inhibitions! When a kid burps, he/she just smiles. When he farts, have you see the laughter?! In the case of elders, it is quite amusing, since you never know how the fart will end up sounding! They might put a lot of effort, but it might come out as a small “puiink”. They might be trying to get away with a silent one, and then, “Darr”;Oh well, now that know anyway, “DARRRRRRR. PHUFFFF. PUIIIIIN. PHURRRR!!!” Grandparents are a treat to watch when they fart! Their intestines aren’t quite as strong as ours, so they have to bend on one side to let go. I think one day I will see an old fat ajji topple over due to the force of the gas coming out in the inclined position! Gas out through the back indicates that the stuff that went in from the top has successfully passed through the system. A burp sucks because the mouth is meant to be the inlet, not the exhaust system!

Oh, also, sometimes farts don’t smell at all. A burp on the other hand, almost always smells of something.

Which do you think is more disgusting? A burp or a fart?

Prison cell

2009-05-28T08:41:00.000+05:30

Sit down, sip some tea
You’r gonna be here for a while
Relax,Cross your legs
Don’t read beyond my smile

I don’t believe we’ve met before
But we’r gonna know each other now

Today’s the first of many
When you tell me all you feel;
Of the days when you killed all them gals
With nerves as cold as steel

I don’t believe you knew before
I could pull outta jail,
Did ya, now?

Tell me, did she scream in pain
As you killed her with your knife?
Did she even realize
You were playing with her life?

I don’t believe you knew before
I’d drive the pen right through your neck,
Did ya, now?

I bet, you can see her smiling from above
At the blood I brought outta you
With fatherly love

I don’t believe you knew before
Who you chose to save your ass,
Did ya, now?

Cafeteria Cutie

2009-05-26T16:36:00.000+05:30

She walked into the room
And he turned around to see
What it was that made him feel
So strange and warm inside

Couldn’t see her face in the queue
But her scent painted a beautiful view,
As she leaned to pick up the plate
He saw, but a quarter of her face

The corner of her smile
Was like the definition of style
Through the curtains of hair
A big ear ring that was so much in place

With mouth open he did gaze
As his spectacles filled with a haze
And soon he realized, it was not her
But the garam sambar near

Soon he regained composure
Filled his plate with his favorite flavor
Walked up and sat beside her
And Said, “Hi, I’m Ashwin.”

The world has changed

2009-05-26T16:16:00.001+05:30

When the vultures stop scavenging
And start hunting their food,
When the psychopaths stop raping
And start living life good

That’s when,
That’s when, my friend,
That’s when the world has changed

The Proposal

2009-01-28T08:57:00.000+05:30

Her heart has opened wide
Her eyes mist up nice,
Turning through the tide
To her mind she can't abide

In the end, he was no prince charming
All he had, was a smile heart warming;
Didn't sweep her off her feet
Didn't make her knees feel weak

Gave her the respect she deserved
Breakfast in bed, to her he served;
He was no great cook, she observed
But a true lover he was, in every word.

Writer's block

2008-12-26T00:14:00.000+05:30

BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK.

Simply Sanky

2008-08-12T23:34:00.000+05:30

I started a new blog. This one's more a diary. Check it out here.

Beware the bend(PESIT fest '08; 2nd prize)

2008-08-11T23:41:00.000+05:30

In a fit of rage
I stabbed his back
Held his head,

Slammed on the rack

Sat down and watched
With no remorse
As blood streamed out
Of his ears and his nose

I checked his pulse
While I stayed,
Made sure I’d killed
The man I betrayed

I left the room
Stinking in gore,
A pulled of blood
Staining the floor

Ten steps later
It caught up with me-
The blood of the man
I’d killed with glee

It traced my steps,
The river of maroon
As I ran in sweat
In the hot afternoon

I didn’t want his blood
On my skin;
By killing him cold,
I’d killed his kin!

It became my shadow
Killing mind alive,
For two seconds of peace
I now had to strive!

Sick and tired of running
From my twisted sin
One day I just gave up
And let the river win

It’d bent life and twisted right
With me as the goal,
But now it had other plans
For my poor twisted soul

As the river touched my nervous feet
I felt a tingling sensation
Wasn’t prepared in all hell
For this torture vacation!

Then came the river’s bend,
One that changed me whole;
It bent with force, right into me
Diffused into my soul

It shot up through the body
Heading for the brain
As I sat down in gloom
Preparing for the pain

I woke up on the floor
Searing pain in back;
Head soaked in blood
Near the broken rack

Soon it dawned on me
I was to die like him;
To suffer like he did;
To know that life was slim

The bend in the blood
Did me in
I pain in the end
For my gruesome sin

Wherever you go
Whatever you sin,
Remember that one day
The river will win!

And when you feel
The bend in the river
Hit your skull
And make you shiver,
Rest my friend;
Await in gloom
For your sins to build
And bring your doom

_______________________________
No sin in this world goes unnoticed. Every sin you commit is a drop in the river of guilt and punishment, which eventually catches up with you. And when it does, it bends into you, inducing the pain you caused to others. Beware the bend in the River of guilt.

From darkness comes understanding, Light blinds one from the Truth

2008-02-20T00:07:00.001+05:30

Did you know
There’s a dark side
To every moon

And did you realize
You have no way to know
A smile from a frown

How do you manage to
Smile in the friendly light
While scratchin’ in the dark

How did you
Kill the pauper while you
Threw him the alms?

There’s a meaning to every bond
A two-way street
To travel along

You can’t be the assassin
While you still are the
Friend you pose to be

I didn’t know
There’s a dark side
To every moon

I didn’t know
It’s better to stay
In the glowing dark

Waiting for you to throw me the alms
And pull out the whip
When you see me smile

They pose to be your friends and draw you into comfort, then they bring down the whip of authority to tame you. This one’s about how people in control exercise their control to their wish. And we all know wishes can be unfair.

Kiss of Death

2008-02-16T00:39:00.000+05:30

Ears echoed with sandy winds
As loneliness grew on him
Like a slow, persistant parasite
Sucking out the will to live

Face-down on the desert floor
He’s surrendered to the scorch
Feeling no heat anymore
Wanting to fight fate no more

Heaven knows how many a day
The young man there lay motionless
Thrown between the freezing night
And the killing scorching day

And then one day at the stroke of dawn
The strewn man opened his sandy eyes
To a strange beautiful distant sound
That lit up his heart like a soldier home bound

His knuckles cracked and the muscles pulled
As he supremed the life to crawl on forth
In search of the intriguing twinkle
That lay hidden in that distant sound

As he peaked the next sand hill
The rising sun blacked his eye
But then he saw the bride in White
Singing the melody as she turned to him

She bent on him
Shading his face
As he glimpsed into
Her smiling eyes;

Trickles of sun soaked his soul
Through her peaceful veil
As she blessed on him
The Kiss of Death

Fear of Death flew away
As the young man’s spirit rose above
Leaving behind the hapless body
In the pained world of living stones

Temporary tantrums

2008-02-01T08:42:00.000+05:30

Ok! So here's the thing. I've been chosen as a "Bangalore Mirror Squad" member. What that means is that I'll be writing quite a few articles and reports. Initially I thought I'll just put them in here . But then, I felt it defeated the purpose of 'The Middle of Nowhere'. I started out this blog to put out complex thoughts and feelings in what most felt sadistic formats. The articles and stories simply spoil the atmosphere here. It seems like my mom is lookin to clean up by blog too, like she tries to organize and clean my room.

So, henceforth, all the stories and articles that arent' born out of creativity will be in http://temporarytantrums.blogspot.com.

Do check that out too.

All we were meant to be

2007-08-22T18:20:00.000+05:30

NOTE: This has nothing wat so ever to do with my life, except that I wrote it.

What’s gone wrong with you
There’s no sun shinin’ through
Is this the way we used to be
This sky is no more blue

All we were meant to be
All that we were supposed to see
Is nothin’ but a nightmare
To me

But I’m gonna live,
Yeah, I’m gonna live through this hate
I’m gonna fight back at life
I’m gonna see this through

Try hard as you might
I’m not gonna take this plight
I’m not gonna face
Your misery

All we were meant to be
All that we were supposed to see
Is nothin’ but a nightmare
To me

Enchanted Mumblings

2007-07-12T00:49:00.000+05:30

They say everything has a meaning, and everything has a purpose. They say God exists. They say. They just keep saying. And they just keep dying, and they just keep giving birth. Over and over again.

They say they want to be in control. Yet, they want to lose dontrol and get "high". They say they want salvation from the cycle of rebirths, and yet, they end up being the reason for the rebirth of a million more.

What is sex all about? Is it about orgasms, or is it just what it was meant to be- A way to keep one's race going? They are so busy trying to stay afloat in the shallow depths of selfishness, that at the end of the day they just want to go home, eat packed food, have a beer, fuck, and go to sleep grumbling about the next day's work.

The say. They want. They make the rules. What about Me? Does anyone give a rat's ass about what i want? Did they give a fuck about what I want when they made the rules?I want to do what I want. Why can't I stay awake when they want to sleep? Is porn morally wrong? If they believe in the Gods, why do they hesitate to say out loud that they believe in the ghosts?

They. They want to judge you. They want to comment. But they, they don't want to think. They want to decide how much you understand, by measuring how much you can memorise without understanding.

Evil. They say killing a life before it's born is evil. When they get the right to create a life, why not have the right to end it before they create it? How different is abortion from boiling an egg? They say "Be Human. Not an animal". Does being intellectually superior take away the reality that Man is afterall an animal?

They. They just keep making the rules, and Me, I just keep grumbling about them, until I get to make the rules. Until I become them. The truth about the cycle of life. Period.

Fine!!A balance!(PESIT '07)

2007-06-06T16:37:00.000+05:30

This is the piece that won me the prize at the PESIT fest recently. Not too proud of this one, but anyway, i'll just log it in here...The topic for poetry was-"A fine balance".

Troubled teen smokin’ out
To dig out mind’s elation;
A six-year old shinin’ shoes
In hunger desperation.

The heavenly Lord hatching life
Suffocatin’ mind starvation
The same sadist holy giver
Bless few with smiling passion

Pregnant girl begging food
In a crowded railway station
While a heiress her age grumbles in rage
Over warm air circulation.

Hot shot’s sun boozin’ away
To nothin’ celebration
While a crippled coolie sweeps the floor
To earn his daily ration.

For every good is a bad
In this devil’s working station
Though no one gets both sides
Of this sad “divine” equation!

Overall He finds a balance
In every complication
It’s not fair, But it’s fine
‘Cos life’s a burning creation.

Everything in this world is ruled by equilibrium. Every element, be it physical, emotional, or even cosmic, has a equally strong countering force trying to nullify nature to zero.

It’s a balance. It’s not fair, but it’s fine.

topics anyone??

2007-05-10T22:26:00.000+05:30

I'm not gettin any topics to write about of late....please put your suggestions in the comments link...

UTSAV '07 winning script!

2007-04-13T21:35:00.001+05:30

I forgot the title i gave at the competition...Anyways, we were given 2 sets of 3 photos each and asked to draw a line of link between the 3 photos in either set..I chose the set in which the first photo was of an old dirty park bench in a forest with two logs on either side, and a house in the background.The second photo was of an african kid in a barren land.And the third was of a total concrete destruction and the silhoutte of a lone man in the middle.Here it goes-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

What have I done!
Oh,where'd I go wrong
Nightmare I've borne
From dream so shine strong!

To make a peace chair
I cut just one tree
Then slayed a couple more
To strech them legs free

The winter did come
And the rain did pour down;
I shaved the land fine
And raised a home brown...

Content I wasn't
Just one floor a home
Barrened an else land
And MY dream did shone!

Human as I was
Pity I felt for pain,
Shot the kid in Africa
Who knew never 'bout rain.

Foolish, as I was
Didn't see the line of link
The rain giver of Africa
Was beside my kitchen sink!

Content I wasn't
Just one home to live,
Built a mutli-storey
To all nation's glory!

As built a forest of bricks,
Greed was born from dream
I stood a smiling 'man',
As concrete replaced green

Pride turned to envy
And I killed all them men
I was the Lord, yes I was the One
Amen, Amen, AMEN!

Too much in haste
I hammered my leg
Crushed my own roots
But to differ I did beg.

Now in all the dust
And no one to else to die
I see my white self
In the dark kid's tearless eye.

What have I done!
Oh, I went so wrong
Nightmares I've borne
From dreams so shine strong!

Maddened I set out
To solve it all now
Remorse I feel,
To the kid I should bow!

Hell I've forever feared
And I brought it down here
All seven I've sinned
Oh, this mess how do I clear!

What have I done!
Oh, I went so wrong
Nightmares I've borne
From dreams so shine strong!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man.Deforestation.Destruction. What starts out as a peaceful dream slowly turns to increasing 'needs' and then goes on to become harrowing greed. When nothing is left but a concrete rubble, the vision of himself clicking the photo of the African kid whose misery he is responsible for, comes gushing into the head. Like a mad man set loose, he sets out to try and solve all the tangles he set into motion leading to destruction of everything.

The 8th sin

2007-04-10T23:06:00.000+05:30

The following is a modification of one of my previous posts-"King of Cannibals". This is the writing which got me through to the finals of Creative Writing at Utsav'07(BMSCE fest).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They made me king
They rejoiced
They sang, they danced
Celebration they voiced

With owls 'n bats,
Their glee I saw
Wondering when
They'd crown me the law;

As the fateful night
Shone to dawn
Vultures them came
Spread wings of blood
The cause of their presence
I discerned too late
As they nailed on me
The crown of barbs.

As rust diffused into my maroon
Red-eyed, I realized
With meanly loaded shovels of trust
The path to Hell I'd dug.

Hail me, cheer me,
Rejoice, O' cannibals
As i sentence myself
To gallows of doom.

Sloth and wrath I rarely felt
Lust, I never craved;
Envied nothing but Pride
Glutton and Greed I'd braved.

Though kept away from seven sins
The eighth I rode to the Devil's bell;
Too late is all this, as I cry-
Sinking down to ashes of Harrow Hell

Hail me!Cheer me!
Rejoice, O' Cannibals
As i sentence myself,
To gallows of Trust!
----------------------------------
The above extract enlists the feelings of an honest man, who was made the "King" of "Canniblas". Canniblas,here, refers to the people in the real world, who are hungry for you failure. The tortured,dying king here, tries to explain how TRUST is undoubtedly the EIGHTH SIN.

Souls in Sin

2007-03-22T19:10:00.000+05:30

I find no sanity
In this world of Devil’s grace;
This is the horrid time when
Dark’s the name of Lord.

‘Feel the heat from Hell below
In every step I take
There is no heaven lake
Where lava melts down dreams

Meditate they say
Gain the peace of soul
How do I explain to you
Where IS my burning soul?!

I sold my sold my soul to Satan
Gave in to dark Desire;
Broke into tears of blood
Punctured my empty heart.

Meditate they say
Attain the peace of soul
Wish I could show you
Where IS my burning soul!

Deep in Hell
Suffering in Hell
Deep in Hell
Suffocating in Sin.

It's okay

2007-01-25T15:59:00.000+05:30

All I can say is
It’s okay

All dreams shattered
Weak heart battered
Tears of emotion scattered
But all I say is
It’s okay

It’s okay
It’s just fine

Visions of reality distorted
Smiles of sarcasm contorted
Inner confessions unblurted
And all I’ll say is
It’s okay

It’s okay..
It’s just fine..

There’s always noise
In hidden truth
Fact of reality
Has no ruth
And all I say is
Its ok

All I can say is
It’s okay

It’s okay..
It’s just fine

Caffine clusters

2007-01-19T13:21:00.000+05:30

It's all so crazy, how things zoom by in a blink. No time to ponder, no time to heal. Just a narrow road to travel, no room for thought. Smiles all around, just frown beneath. So much to do, with so less at hand. Creepy crawlers biting at heal, thorns bleed thy skin.

I'm givin' up the dreams. Not mine, but yours. 'Tis time to find my way. Time to chase the sun. The roots might stay, but branches will spread. Wanna build a new horizon, to the chirps of vultures.

Send me an angel, to peace the soul. Send me the strength to comprehend the silenced chaos in this lonesome scorch.

Time has no reason to care for life, I have no patience to deal with fate. Sanity loses hold in this world of weird wonders, as meaningless mumblings keep eye on daily dreams.

Now, as the caffine ceases, my time of peaceful ponder ends, and I’ve to dive again into the rush of timeless haze-just another fish, swarmin’ to rise a shark.

Jimmy

2006-11-16T22:51:00.000+05:30

So long Jimmy
You don't mean a thing to me
So long my friend
You were just a traitor

Brother you were to us
Sheltered you from the wild
Smokin',you smile with us
Burnin' to stab the back!

With dying eyes you look me now
Remorse in thy heart
Too late, Oh my friend
Don't mean a thing to me.

So long Jimmy,you
WERE just a traitor
Must see you die
For hell is thy only fate.

Life bites

2006-11-07T22:11:00.000+05:30

Somethin' in the air
That's messin' with the mind
Can't see it
But feel it around
So tough to block
This tension up inside..

Life bites,& it's hard to feel
The crazy dream
From the real

Of all I see
In the sleep
Just the 'mares
Seem to creep
From the dark, to sink the teeth
Into the skin of gloried life..

Life bites,& you wail in pain
Yet blind in greed
You move to gain.

Life bites,
Yes, life bites.

I shaved my head!

2006-09-15T23:59:00.000+05:30

Thought it'll be wild and all that, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel peaceful for some odd reason. Like a monk smiling at everyone laughing at him.

King of cannibals

2006-08-29T18:25:00.000+05:30

They made me King
The rejoiced
They sang, they danced
Celebration they voiced.

With owls 'n bats
Their glee i saw
Wondering when
They would crown me the Law;

As the fateful night
Shone at dawn
The vultures came by
Spreading wings of eager blood
The cause of their presence
I discerned too late
As they nailed on me
The crown of Barbs

As rust diffused into my maroon
Helplessly I realised
With shovels of lust for power
My doom I'd dug.

Hail me, cheer me
Rejoice O' cannibals
As I sentence myself
To gallows of doom.

Tube thought

2006-08-19T20:36:00.000+05:30

When you go in thinking you got nothing to lose,
You often end up winning.

Bleeding eyes

2006-07-11T23:04:00.000+05:30

As tears of blood flow
I reflect in silent retribution
Trying to comprehend
Why the rusted nails of Fate
Scarred my life this way.

...

2006-06-26T23:48:00.000+05:30

Life is like the night sky. Vast spaces of dull emptiness spotted with rare twinkling stars of good times.

I drag myself through every crisis, hoping to someday see the Full Moon.

On a High

2006-05-30T00:26:00.000+05:30

Best Birthday in a long time.

A trek to a picturesque peak. The KumaraParvata. Soaring out of Kukke Subramanya, this place caught my heart, like nothing else could.

A tiring trek though, but it was all worth it...

Starting on the 13th morning, I reached Bhatta's place(click the title to see pictures) by evening...

May 14th,2006,
standing on the grassland slopes of the hill, the seeing the clouds embrace me into a heavenly greeting...Felt like God himself saying"Happy birthday,my boy"...

What better gift could you ask for, on your 20th birthday...
Getting on a non-alcoholic high!

Letting Go

2006-05-17T13:55:00.000+05:30

As the flashes of lightening
Give me glimpses of reality
I come to realize
In the darkness I am lone

Friend you are to me
But not friend enough
To bring a smile
To the heart

We had a destiny
But you chose to change it
And now I write the prophecy
To my future

Just a friend I can’t be
Once we’ve been more
‘din even look back
When you walked out the door

So it’s best
For you and for me
To lay into rest
This link of glee
That kept me alive
All this while…
Into nothingness I wanna dive
But can’t do that
With a cuffed heart…

Just a friend I can’t be
Once we’ve been more
‘din even look back
When you walked out the door

You’ll find better
Don’t you worry,
This is not the time
To be sorry

‘tis time to part ways
For good
To look for
What you really want

And as the flashes of lightening
Give me glimpses of reality
I come to realize,
In the darkness I am lone
And if not to be with you
Why else was I borne?

To comprehend that
I need to let go
Into nothingness I need to dive
But can’t do that
With a cuffed heart…

So with sorrow
And a bruised heart
I m letting go
To dive into the whirlpool
Of nothingness

One day your tears will dry
And the smile will return
And a charming prince will take
That longed heart of yours

While you wait for that,
I m letting go…
I m breaking the bond…
I m drifting away…
And you have none to blame
But the self…..

Love

2006-04-27T16:58:00.000+05:30

by Swami Vivekananda

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were
sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with
some water and held it before me, and said this:
"You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love." This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow
it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to
close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the
first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try
to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling
out of your hand, love will retrieve from you .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are
people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly
practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must
sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an
unconditional caring."
Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;
but by the moments that take our breath away..... Life is beautiful!!! Live it !!!

Heavy eyelid

2006-04-20T23:46:00.000+05:30

" Goodnight.
Go to sleep.
Sleep tight.
Don't dream.
'Cos 'moro you'll wake.

Just sleep a dreamless sleep.
Close your eyes;don't stare
Make that comforting trip
To the Middle of Nowhere

Where you can't hear the light
Or see the sound,
Where you don't have to fight
To keep the promise you bound

Just sleep a dreamless sleep
Where there's no pain
There's no greed
There's no gain
There's no creed
Neither no cast
Where for nothing
You need to feel aghast.

Go.
Go sleep.
Don't dream
'Cos 'moro you'll wake. "

4.37 am

2006-04-16T04:29:00.000+05:30

And what was I doing till now?
Designing shafts.
Hmm...Pretty interesting design seems to be...its managed to not only keep me awake till this hour, but also, i think i ll go back n do a lil bit more!

Its so refreshing to learn something for what it is, than for a test!

crazy

2006-04-05T21:54:00.000+05:30

i just deleted everything in my yahoo mail.
inbox items, fwds, all mails, sent items, bulk, thrash.......just everything.
dunno y.
maybe cos i want to erase all memory.

[yes. i have indeed gone mad. and that s a result of the combination of boredom and having done terrible in the first internals.]

Random thoughts

2006-03-25T23:39:00.000+05:30

headphones at full volume;floyd playing cluster one;11 48pm; a bottle of cold water.

Sitting in front of my best friend, I realise he's been there for me throught everything I went through. To many, he's inanimate. To me, he's that one fellow, who does everything I want him to..listens to me without blabbering what he thinks...my pc.

Not that I lack good human friends, but you can never completely express yourself to anyone...At some point or the other, you are alone. All Alone, staring your worst fear in the eye. That s when the real You comes out. It's what you do then that decides what you become in life. Anyone can be perfect on his day. But coming out the winner on a day when everything seems to be going against you-that's the mark of a true hero.

"A soldier who's not scared is not brave.
He who fights despite the fear is the true soldier"

Nahin Saamne

2006-03-23T19:59:00.000+05:30

dekho chodke
kis raste woh jaaten hai.
saare raste
waapas mere
dil ko aate hain...

nahin saamne
yeh alag baat hai
mere paas hai
tu mere paas hai...

2006-03-21T23:25:00.000+05:30

ok.this is just to inform the couple of ppl who check my page, that i m still alive and ticking...
everyday i think i ll sit and blog, but i m so tired and sleepy, it somehow doesn happen.

i promise a post as soon as possible.

till then, happy blogging.

signing off.

2006-02-27T19:58:00.000+05:30

Seems like life is bent upon crushing me. What have I done? Why should I be so unlucky?

Your lips move...

2006-02-25T19:42:00.000+05:30

...But I can't hear what you are sayin...

This week, Floyd hit me. Right in the face.
It was Wednesday, and we had our first Measurements lab. As usual, we were left early, and all of us decided to hit Pak's house. We all were chattin away, when he put on a dvd. It was some concert. The lights were awesome.
And then the song started. "Hello...Is there anybody in there..."
Bang. I could not take my eyes off the tv till the song ended. And at the end of those six minutes, there was another Floyd fan made.
"When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
Aaaaaaaai have become comfortably numb."

"When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb."

Hmm-2

2006-02-25T19:39:00.000+05:30

Well, here I am. Saturday night, all alone at home. Sitting behind the closed the door of my room. The whole week has suddenly come to a stand still. Week END. Yes. The end.

Foresight

2006-02-18T14:48:00.000+05:30

I closed my eyes
I wanted to see Nothing
But I saw something:

It was bright
It was round
It was harsh
It was gentle
It was the Ultimate.

Then it got brighter;
So bright, I had
To close my eyes.

But how, I thought
How can I close
My eyes, if they are
Already closed?

Nevertheless,
I closed my eyes.
It was then,
That I saw You.

I saw, not as you
Want to be seen.
I saw you from
Within you.

I saw your black eyes
I saw through your eyes.
I saw what you saw.

But then, I thought
If I saw
What you saw,
Then I was you...

But my mind was mine
And yours was yours.

Wait. It did not make sense...

I could feel what you felt
I could see what you saw
I could see that you
Were seeing me.

My heart leaped.
So did yours.
My stomach turned;
So did yours.
I smiled,
But you didn't.
You blushed,
But I didn't.

I walked upto you...

My heart leaped.
So did yours.
My stomach turned;
So did yours.
I said
"Be mine"
You said,
"I am yours-I am you"

Relieved, I opened
My eyes,
But I saw something:

It was bright
It was round
It was harshIt was gentle
But now I knew
It was not the Ultimate.

Then, it faded away.
It became dimmer..
I opened my eyes again.
I saw you.

My heart leaped.
So did yours.
My stomach turned;
So did yours.
I smiled,
I saw you blush.

I walked upto you
I said"Be mine."

You said...

The market

2006-01-31T08:16:00.000+05:30

Yesterday evening, I found myself at the G.K.Vale photo shop(at the Vijaynagar market), getting bored. I was there to give a few photos for print(obviously). There was a big crowd there, and the receptionist was going beserk trying to handle the irritating customers.[One of them kept coming back every two minutes to ask how longer it will take. The poor girl was trying to be as polite as possible,"Sir, please be seated, it will take about ten minutes..", but I think she wanted to slap him hard across the face and say," You idiot, can't you understand when I tell you to wait for ten minutes?I am not lounging around here drinking Vodka. Even I am working!"].

There were people everywhere looking so tense, I wondered how they were going to smile inside the studio! And then there were the little kids, who found everything interesting,from the floor mat to the shoes of the giants walking around them...But their explorations were constantly cut off by their parents who were pulling them back roughly, and obviously, the restriction brought about that very famous frustration and then then the outburst of the screeching high-piched crying...

I slowly moved out of the shop, into the balcony(the shop's on the first floor) to escape the commotion. I looked outside, at the market below. People everywhere. Walking about in seemingly total randomness, tension overflowing from their faces.
Vendors shouting at the top of their voices to drown out the competitors, the aunties moving about restlessly, bargaining for that "vital" one or two rupees they might get off on the groceries.
Street hawkers with toys on the floor, which were jumping up and down, attracting the kids being pulled along by the frustrated parents...
A flour mill below was making that nerve racking sound, making a reasonable contribution to the already unbearable noise...
Vehicles were trying to make their way through the crowd(I still feel that vehicles should not be allowed into the street, if not for safety of the ones walking, atleast for that of the ones driving!!)...And the loud horns were not exactly helping in making way..That's the beauty of the Market. Nobody cares how hard you honk. All they care is about themselves and their groceries.

And then, I saw him. He was about five feet tall, had white hair, and wore a think framed set of spectacles. A typical example of a retired man, in his early 60's. He was moving about from one vendor to another slowly, taking his time to choose the vegetables. One of the few people, who was actually enjoying his time out of the four walls of the house he must have been sitting in the whole day. He was asking the price of the vegetables, and was smiling all the time...

I know, he might be retired, and might not have any other job at home, and so he was taking things easy, but I wonder, is it not possible for us too, to take things a little easy in life? I don't want to slow down the pace of our life, but why don't we enjoy what we do? Why the frown?Why the swear words?Why the fights?Why the hard feelings and misunderstandings?...

Hmm..

2006-01-29T07:54:00.000+05:30

Hmmm...
I am writing this post, 'cos I can't think of anything else to do. It's the vacations I had been dreaming of for the past 3 months, and now that they are here, I don't know what to do. I am just going to write everything that comes to my mind...(Yeah Tejas, I know I am copying your ided..)

Life has become utterly boring and uneventful, but for the one hour of gym every morning.
Yes. You read it right. I finally summoned up the will power to go to the gym..

Hmm. Now...let me see....its about 8 in the morning, and so far, I've had a strange day. Today Hamsini(she's a kind of sis to me) was to leave back to Hubli, and I was to drop her to the railway station. The train was scheduled at 6. I woke up at 5, and was leaving home at 5.15, when she called up and said Amshuman(Anu's brother) was leaving at the same time, so he'll drop her. I thought I'll atleast meet her, and was half way through when she called again and said she already in an auto.
So, now, at 5 15 in the morning, I am standing with my vehicle, staring at my cell phone, which read "Call Duration:45seconds".
Today, being a Sunday, is supposed to be my weekly off for the gym. But I was awake anyway, and didn't think I could get sleep again, so thought I can as well go to the gym. I drove to the gym...And DAMN. It's wasn't open yet! I thought I remembered the gym guy telling me he's open from 5am. But I guess I am the only weirdo who wants to work out at 5.30 in the morning on a chilly Sunday.
Vokay.So Even the gym is out. Usually, anyone else at that hour, and temperature(it was pretty cold), would have gone back home, and slept for another hour.But me, NO!! I turned the vehicle around, and drove to the Bangalore University.

[BU campus is just amazing, and it's a kind of a forest. A usually romantic place, where people come to enjoy some silence and peace. It's just beyond Nagarbhavi..]

The drive was very very chilly, and it was very dark. The street lights had decided sleep too, making sure it was totally black out there. Nevertheless, I drove...I don't know how long it took, but I went till the main road of the campus(which is a flat straight road, making a good place to zoom to max speed). Ripped a bit on the strech, and took a U-turn back towards home.

Then, I came home, and watched Jhankar Beats for sometime.
And now, I'm sitting here typing all the non-sense I ve done since the past 3 hours.

Shows how utterly jobless I am.

Oh ya, it just flashed to me. I can tell you what all I do when I am bored....
That'll be the next post. Till then, see you.

I m not a nerd!

2006-01-25T20:03:00.000+05:30

Totally wrong..I don wanna be a nerd!!!

Timepass

2006-01-20T00:06:00.000+05:30

I took this test I found on Tejas' site..

My results:
You are Superman

Superman		75%
Green Lantern		65%
Robin		57%
Supergirl		55%
Hulk		40%
Iron Man		40%
Spider-Man		35%
Wonder Woman		35%
The Flash		30%
Batman		25%
Catwoman		15%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Aisa hi hoon main!!!

2006-01-11T16:50:00.000+05:30

This is the way I AM!!! I know what I do is right. If I am wrong, I will accept it and change myself. But this time, I know I have not done anything wrong.
I have always been told
"If someone tells you are wrong,when u know otherwise, silence is the best answer".

BULLSHIT.
I know I am right!!!!Why the hell should I keep quiet?? This is the way I am!!

I m like a brittle material. Keep putting preassure on me, I ll take it. I ll keep taking it. And then, I will snap.Without a warning. Just like that. S.N.A.P.

And when i do snap, u ll be in hell.
I keep telling You.
Don't push me to the corner.
But NO!
You don't want to listen.
You think I m joking.
And now, when I lash out,
You ll see I was not joking.

A true taurean I am.
I have the patience of a mountain.
But piss me off too much,
And I m going to drop so many boulders
You ll remember the rest of your life
Not to mess with a BULL.

Blonde joke

2006-01-09T13:08:00.000+05:30

This is the nerdiest blonde joke i ve ever read!! http://elliottback.com/wp/index.php?s=blond+joke

Chahat

2006-01-04T21:22:00.000+05:30

Mat chaho kisi ko itna

Ki chahat tumhari kamjoori ban jaye.

Chaho kisi ko itna

Ki tumhara pyaar

Uske liye jaruri ban jaaye.

-From a friend's blog.

Resolution--2004

2006-01-01T00:44:00.000+05:30

Prolouge
The following is an excerpt from this old scrap of paper I found in my diary(2003). And since its been 2 years already, I think I can safely publish it. The passage may sound a bit lame, but remember that when I wrote this, I was two years(and that makes a lot of differece!) younger.

" This new year has been a very eventful one. A very meaningful one.

I have grown a year older. I have learnt new things. I tripped, I fell, I hurt myself. But I had no time to nurse my wounds. No time to wait for them to heal, because I have an aim, a destination to reach, a dream waiting to be made into reality.

This year, I found many friends, very few of whom turned out to to be true friends. I realised that people were not laughing with me; they were laughing at me. I loved only to be hated. I trusted, only to be betrayed; I hugged, only to be stabbed in the back.

But in the coming year, I am going to improve. This coming year, I will be more optimistic, more confident. I will not repeat the mistakes I made last year. I shall trust no one but myself. I shall love no one but myself. I shall help no one but myself.

I shall not bend to emotions. This coming year, I shall think with my brain, not with my heart. This coming year, I will treat people the way they treat me. I shall hug people, but if I am stabbed, i shall crush them to death before I perish.

This coming year, I shall neither forgive, nor forget. This coming year, I will decide who I am. This coming year will my year, and i am going to live it to the fullest. "---24-12-'03

Giggle ghosts

2005-12-29T23:03:00.000+05:30

DISCLAIMER:
1)This is MY blog. I write what I want here. I am the Lord here. Your comments are welcome, but remember this. Here, in the Middle of Nowhere, I am right.You are wrong.End of discussion.
2)The follwing passage may contain offencive content. Reader descretion is adviced.

Woman. The one thing that any (normal)guy won't object to. The beauty of nature. The one who actually makes a guy's half-odd hour trip to the boring college worthwhile. The who makes the guy's life worthwhile. The one who's behind a succesful man. The two who are behind the unsuccessfull one. The reason the ads on TV make money. The reason Mankind is still alive and ticking. The reason I am alive today.

There something in a woman that's irresistable. Sometimes it's the way her eyes move when she's talking to you, totally animated; Sometimes it's her hair...the long hair, the way it moves on to her face, and that totally adorable whiff with which she blows it off...That smile...ooh...it's so captivating...

And when that smile turns into a giggle,
BOOM!
You are thrown out of the world of woman magic,
and thumped into the desert of the girl.

Now, I have noticed that, usually, when you are with just one girl, the smile stays a smile. But put just another girl into the scene, and you are in the unknown world of non-stop nonsense.
Girls start talking in some shittin unknown language(Girl Gibberish is what I call it..).
The giggles. They get on my neeeeerves!!!!

The Oxford dictionary defines giggle as: (verb)- half-supressed spasms. I think this dictionary was written by a lady. My definition would be "(verb,noun, adjective..it really doesn't matter.)- A disgusting phenomenon(usually in female humans), where laughter is brought about by little meaning(mostly meaningless) "jokes";most probable reaction of a girl to anything which is meaningless.

Alright picture this:
I am talking about something important, and I see her looking at the other girl n smiling. Now, there are two ways I've tried to react to such a situation:

1) Ignore and continue-
I just ignore that irritating smile and continue what I was saying. But the problem with that, is that I find it very tough to talk freely when I don't get the eye contact. I really don't feel like speaking when I know that the person is not listening to me.(Ok.so there goes my job as a lecturer).
And when I do that, with all the difficulties I am facing, when I am in mid-scentance, the two girls burst out into giggles. Those high shreeking noices, the shivers brought about because of the meaningless jokes. What the joke was, I never understand. Was something on my face?was my fly open?did i have a funny accent? I'll never know!

2) Stop and ask-
Well, this reaction is the worst possible thing you could do, in a situation like this. I stop and ask what's so funny that it can't wait till I am finished, and in two seconds, without fail, I find both of the girls holding their stomachs, bending over n shivering(ok, here i think 'spasm' is the right word...maybe the Orford babe was a guy after all..).
But let me warn you!!This shivering will not stop soon!!! It goes on for about five minutes, after which they manage to gain control of their stupid brains. But that's no garuntee that the giggle attack will not relapse!!!!Infact, the second wave of giggles are more irritating, cos they last for longer, and the worst part is, There's no fuckin reason for the giggle!!

So, my fellow men, meet the woman, surely.Talk to her, by all means. Even Marry her!!!But when you see her with another woman, Run, ma Man!!!Run!!!

Oh Lord.
Thou ve proven,
Even Thou art not Perfect.
Hail the Woman.
Amen.

Chess of Life

2005-12-29T22:45:00.000+05:30

Everything in life
Is all but a game
Of stratagies,
Of phyching,

Of dominating
Of terrorising

Everything in life
Has a meaning,
Everything you do
Has a motive.

A motive-
Larger than u imagine
Larger not is size,
But in perspective.

A Nobody
Shot down a Brain.
Brains we get in plenty...
But the motive
Is not to kill.

The motive is terror.

Don't frit my man.
Don't frit.
But don't stand up
Like a fool.

Live Today.
To fight morro...

Think.
Use that friggin thing
Inside the thick skull.
See not, the act itself,
See the motive.

Act not at the Nobody
Act at the motive.
Act upon the thought.

Pay back.
But don't sacrifice your life.
Chop down the Thought.
Chop down.

Eye for an eye?
NO!
Life for the eye!

Don't negociate.
Don't bribe.
When it's time,
Strike off the pawn.

Kill the Pawn,
Kill the Rook;
Kill the Bishop
Kill the Knight;

And you will see,
The King will die
A lonely death.

Wake up
See the Motive
See the pattern
In the Chess Of Life.

Think

2005-12-16T23:27:00.000+05:30

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't,
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It's almost ceratin you wont.

-a poster in my room

Temper-reborn

2005-12-14T23:24:00.000+05:30

It's been a long time since I felt so angry. Why I am angry is not important. A few years ago, I was a really really short-tempered. But I slowly learned to control my anger and smile instead.

Today all that built up anger has started coming out.When one is angry, it is said that his energy levels boost up a great deal. Now I'll try and focus that energy into studies. Anger and agression has always produced negative results for me. This time, hope I produce positive results.

Neo

2005-12-12T22:31:00.000+05:30

AAAH!!!I wish i could plug-in and learn the whole text book in a few seconds!!!

Lord

2005-12-07T21:02:00.000+05:30

Staring at the monitor I sit..
Feeling something;
I don't know what
It is..

Can't explain
Can't define
The fear, the pain
Of letting things
Flow away in vain..

Not just a test I have 'morrow,
A challenge.
To fight against the rusted brain
I have to try,
To focus
I have to strain...

A diamond I have to make
Of dark coal
Determination I have to make
Of my dark brain...

Heat I have to feel
Through numb skin
Light I have to see
Through blind eyes

The noises won't stop;
Get used to it,
I have to
Fight back
I have to.
Give it the best
I have to

You there,
Mocking me,
Mark my words.

With new confidence
I shall rise
To emerge as
Lord of the Wild.

Hinduism

2005-12-07T12:29:00.000+05:30

I recently stumbled upon this one in a blog by a guy named Srinidhi http://srinvis.blogspot.com/

I never knew about this..its quite interesting..read on..he quotes:

"It is the greatest misconception that hinduism is a religion. it is not. the supreme court of india has also agreed that hinduism is a way of life lead by people to the south-east of the the hindu river or the hindukhoo mountians. It was the british who when they introduced census in india defined hinduism to be a religion. It is not a religion, it is a way of life...What else do you call something according to which you have to wake up before sunrise in the morning, do physical activity like yoga, take a bath, do meditation and then after your body and mind are clean enter the kitchen and then go on to do your work for the day without concentrating on the results just for work's sake. I don't think any other religion in the world mandates good living habits like hinduism and hence hinduism is not a religion."

Knight of life

2005-12-05T19:07:00.000+05:30

I came, I saw-
But conquer I did not;
Maybe I could have,
But try I did not.

Maybe I should have-
Tried, that is...

I knew I could-
Conquer, that is...

But-
Somehow,somewhere
In a corner of the heart,
I doubted
My Strengths.

And now-
Here I am,
Left with nothing
But weakness
And pain...

numb

2005-12-04T00:10:00.000+05:30

Tests r coming up, and I'm down with a bloody cold. The docs say it's some kind of infection in the lower respiratory track (well, i don think it's that serious, but they make it all sound technically complicated so that I get all scared n keep visitin them n keep payin their bills!)
It's so ironic..many of my friends in college smoke, and I am the one who gets lung infection!!! I think this shows how much more non-smokers suffer than the smokers!!!
Oh well, anyway, my life is full of tension and problems now.why? Well, let me give a one-word-clue: VTU
Yes, it's december, and like every student of vtu, I m getting tensed about the upcoming exams(starting 2nd Jan). Lab externals are to begin from 19th but the dates haven't been put up yet.
My first internals had been horrible, so I've to improve my scores in the 3rd internals, which start on 8th...AND, to add to all this, I have MT lab internals on 7th.
Wow, super...when you are down, fate delivers the knockout punch...and still, somehow, like those hindi film heros, I am supposed to miraculously get up and win the fight against luck.
Well, I don't have much option anyway...because I can't afford to go below the standards I have set for myself..
I have to battle this one out again like the previous two semisters...I will...I better do it...
ok...I think it's time to sign off and catch some sleep..